Bada Boom

Soooo! I’m finally feeling caught up with things right now. I feel busy, but not too busy. I’m prepared for the next two weeks and yeah…just busy.

I’ve been really burnt out lately with work and really just feelin the strain of everything. I was also feeling a little jaded about the whole thing. Like I love my job, but i don’t know how long I want to do it for.

I want to travel and go back to school and be somewhere that I’ll actually meet someone to date. I know thats kind of shallow, but i just have almost given up hope for meeting someone. And all i mean is someone nice…a new friend. But a new GOOD friend. I’m totally longing for something more with the relationships in my life. I don’t want to meet a ‘boyfriend’ i just want to meet someone who will feel me and who will get me and make me laugh. Someone good hearted and optimistic and outgoing. Someone who will come over and watch movies with me or jam on guitar with me. Someone with a great smile and strength in who they are. Someone who challenges me. I guess that kind of describes a boyfriend….but the thing is, I don’t care about physical intimacy. I’m really wanting mental and emotional stimulation. And i’m not quite sure that there is someone out there who can really give me what i’m looking for…and truthfully that realization makes me sad and really gives me that ache in my heart. Ehh….I hate admitting these kinds of things. And I like to believe that I’m stronger than that…stronger than to feel the NEED to have someone to be mentally intimate with. I mean, whats wrong with me? I have GREAT friends, great co-workers, fabulous family. Why can’t I be satisfied with what I have already? and not try to look for more, but just be trusting that there is someone out there? I just pray for someone to come into my life that will reciprocate love and understanding in a deeper way. Geez, I feel so unapreciative to say that. But I can’t help it. At least I’m willing to admit that I’m feeling this way. Now maybe I can figure out a way to be satisfied and patient and to trust in God’s plan for me. 

Just posting my first friendster blog…so that those people who still use friendster might have something to do if they go to my site. Life is good, work is good, family is good, faith is good, friends are good. Love life now…quite nonexistant but oh well. Life goes on. peace.